rumors of my death may yet be slightly premature

Slightly.

I just keep falling off the face of the Internet.

I am still narrowing down which projects to play with and hope to have an update there soon.

I went to New Orleans with Carlos-the-Jackal and he bought me a delightful book For Neruda, For Chile which is a collection of poems written following the deaths of Pablo Neruda and Salvador Allende and the overthrowing of the government of Chile in 1973.  It seems to be a book that is hard to find (I of course walked into the store and there it was, humming softly and expectantly) and it is full of some poems best described as haunting – in the sense of both longing beauty and bloody apparitions.  I have not read all of the poems yet.  I cannot read them more than a few at a time.  They leave the sound of guns and the scent of blood and the soft, warm dampness of soil on a fresh grave in their wake.  War and death invade, twined in light and darkness and a slow cascade of syllables.  Pablo Neruda is the only poet I have begun a poem for, and finding this book prompts me to finish it.

Also – please go to see this post by Neil Gaiman.  Not because he writes glorious, glorious books (which he does).  Not because his blog is lovely to read, especially as we settle into fall and there can be mulled cider with it (which is true).  But because he has taken a stunning picture, and you should see it (it is set as the background for my laptop right now, so that I may continue to stare at it at will).

good morning cosmos ~ after all this silence, I offer a poem

Sun-Painted Compass

brushed across the canvas of my skin
shuddering with my heart
is our story
traced out in lines of fate and destiny
trailing over my palm
left like a map to distant places
going and coming and dividing and returning
until the whole story could not be written on one canvas
but in our skins overlaid
and then deeper
falling in tangled twists of color and light and darkness
writhing off of our skin and into the night sky
connecting stars and planets into new ever-shifting constellations
a love painted in presense and absence
light and shadow
with our blood and the colors of the bleeding sun
so woven into our fortunes
what has been spilling into what is come
I trace the curves of Nazca Lines and spiral-carved labyrinths
and wonder if you are speaking to me
promising that our dance nearer and father – forward and back
traces out something only visible from heights we have not yet reached

I mailed your letter this morning.

Chaco Canyon

Monkey!

Lucien!!!

Remember this monster before he was a monster?

Lucien!!!

And…close up of a tiny sprouting branch!!!

Baby Branches!!!

Molli – your plant!!!  He becomes HUGE!!!

Good Morning Cosmos! ~Quick Note before Work~

Good morning!

I’m sorry my updates have been rarer and shorter, but I’ve been working. Once I have internet access from work (which I will eventually, theoretically have), I should be able to post more. Yay!

Meanwhile, you get a note to say hi. 🙂 Because I miss saying that.

Um.  And this picture.

That is all.

Have a wonderful day!

Starfruits! And orchids! And updates! Oh, my!

Our starfruit tree has fruits! Billions of them!

Also our starfruit tree has an orchid!

 Perhaps later I will make a post with more words.

Sunday Morning Coffee with PostSecret

It is the return of the secrets!  Not that they have been gone, I have just not been able to have words as much lately.  This week, I note this card and it brings me right back to wondering about online dating services.  (Not trying them out, I have two absolutely amazing people I’m lucky enough to be dating.  No hurry to find more.)  But to wondering about them.  There is a part of me that wonders just how that could work – I have made some damned intense connections through the online world (my Ravyn is one, in fact), but so much of how I’d choose to date is…I dunno.  Being matched on however many levels of compatibility is great – but…I think I would prefer to find out from the very beginning?  I still don’t know quite what to think.

PostSecret now has a community where you can discuss secrets and connect with other people reading secrets, listen to (or record your own) secrets, and view information on upcoming PostSecret events/books/news.   I’ve added many e-mail and messenger contacts (it’s about my only accomplishment of the morning) and will try to talk to them.  As I was writing this, one of the people I added pinged me, and our discussion so far has been lovely, and I’m enjoying it greatly as I write this post.

I may come to chatter later, but for now I leave you with a hibiscus.  🙂  I love having a camera again!

Moon

Picture for a Ghost. 🙂 Since he needs to see the moon we’re currently talking about.

Good Morning Cosmos!

 

Good morning!  There are ten minutes left of it.

Look!  A picture!  I took this one with the new camera.  While standing on two separate plant boxes and almost broke my neck approximately 38.6 times.  But I thought that we were long overdue some pictures.  [Lucien pictures are coming Molli, I just need to get a post with him and his pineapple friends arranged!]

I spent the morning reading through Tina’s blog.

Last night,when I almost updated and then didn’t, I was contemplating putting out an open account of what was going on with me, and shrank back.  For several reasons, one of which is that I have tried to keep from whining on this blog.  I’ve posted poetry and links to meaningful things that are not always cheerful, but I have tried to keep the overall theme here playful.  And the second is that as much as I think I’m reaching a place where I have to express where I am, I am reluctant to do that.  So…I’m debating putting things here, or putting things on another blog, or not talking about it at all for the Internet to view, or whatever it is I will do.

Anyway – Tina’s blog is an amazingly open and primal kind of view of depression and anorexia.  It is not just ranting, but is full of little bits of helpful information on how one person lives with depression and anorexia, some of which are probably helpful to see.  Most importantly, at least to me, its a kind of affirmation that I am not the only person who has been or still goes through these things.  Sometimes, that kind of affirmation is much appreciated.  As it was at eight this morning, when the thought I would have to make a grocery list was entirely overwhelming.  [It’s 12:05 now, and I’m still working on it.  But, partly that is due to the fact that I am searching for recipes, which I will of course share.]

One such recipe, which looks absolutely amazing is this recipe for Panang Curry Beef!  It comes complete with family story.  There is also a vegetarian take on that recipe, that also talks story, this time a dinner party one.  Also on the list for this week is this impossibly easy baked macaroni and cheese.   I shall add Anglo-Indian Curried Soup and do a pot roast.  Yes, half the reason this post exists is to hold my recipes for this week where I can find them.  I have yet to lose WordPress.

Enough ramblings for now.  I shall finish grocery lists and compress pictures of the garden for you.

Have a wonderful day peoples!

good morning cosmos!

Look! Lucien!

I’m still learning to paint colors into words.  Spinning stories from bits of colored light is harder now.  Also, my camera has decided to die, so I’ve fewer pictures for you, all taken on the last occasion I coaxed it into functioning. But I did want to give you a Lucien picture.

 

Good morning cosmos! I am having cheesecake for breakfast. It is anarchy. Delicious, delicious anarchy.

I have been quiet lately.  Life has been insane.  One way or another, it will work itself out.

It is 8:10am here, and I have already gotten my coffee and gone for a walk in the early morning rain.  I actually arrived back in my house from my walk to find my alarm had started going off in my absence.   (An alarm set for five of seven, for those who are curious.)

Lucien has been growing like crazy, all green leaves and fluff.  The plantlings that survived the drought are all green and trying to grow as fast as they can to reach the sky.  They are very excited to be alive.  And very cute.

Also very cute is emo-puppy!

Our darling mutt dog Patch managed to out-queen himself!  Patch, who tends to lie with his front paws daintily crossed and likes nothing better than to groom the other dogs, is always a little adventure.  I came out a few days ago to see Patch lying on the porch, being even more emo than usual, watching my every move with his eyes but too oppressed by angst to lift his head off the porch.  I asked my mother if he’d been fed, and she said he head been too good for his food, and so our other dog had eaten it.  I got him food, which he stuck his face in, jerked it out, and then look up at me with the best look of absolute betrayal ever.  Then, eventually, he picks up one piece of food in his mouth, rolls his eyes to look up at me, and then spits the food back out into his dish!  This (from the dog who eats almost everything!) is extra-special drama.

And, another picture of emo-puppy, for your amusement!