chasing shadows again











Extra-special bonus points to anyone who recognizes the lyrics!  [Except for Carlos-the-Jackal.  I know he knows I know he knows.]  That song was, ironically, on my soundtrack while I took a train from the East Coast to Oregon before flying to the Land of Loud Birds to live.

I am moving away from Mississippi [which never really got its own little slogan name] and returning to my rightful home.  I will no longer be writing in exile!  To celebrate, there will be drinks!  And reunions!  Reunions with drinks!

Because I love nothing so much as not losing my cocktail recipes updating my blog, here are some potential fall-themed drinks for reunions!

Zombie Cocktail | Autumn Colors CocktailWarm Apple PieHot ‘n’ Spikey Texican Tailgate Cocoa [Note to self A: Create drink named Hot Drunken Hedgehog Cocoa  Note to self B: Find someone to illustrate this concept] |  Pumpkin Pie Martini

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I am once again enthralled by cute things.  This time in the form of Bento boxes.

Already my Ravyn and a Bunny have had to suffer through my sending them links upon links to bento related thingies!

Sometime after the holidays I will likely get a pair of bento boxes (one for me to take to work, one for mom to take to work) and thus I can eat more tasty diet foods.  More likely than not I will get the Laptop Lunches ones, which seem to be the superfunctional and not overly cute (amusing as it could be to pack my mother lunch in a Hello Kitty bento box), and they sell replacement inner parts for when I inevitably lose some or want to pack a couple up ahead of time with leftovers.  Of course, the internet is full of cute bento boxes – some of which cater to my cherry blossom obsession.  People, there are even chopsticks catering to my cherry blossom obsession!

So now when I win the lottery and have my very own commune, I will ALSO be making lunches for all my people to take away with them.  In addition to the soap making, jewelery making, and vodoun charms.  As long as I don’t get these things mixed up, everyone should be fine.  But I can’t pick up many more cute hobbies or I will not have time for my hookah.  And not having time for a hookah would be a tragedy.  Flavored tobacco for the win!

Should I get these boxes, I will update you with the pictures!  For now, I will leave you some links to fun/cute things.

Lunch In A Box! –  A fun blog with many links and pictures.  Load of tips and recipes.  Focuses on quick rather than time-consuming cute, so excellent for the kind of things to pack every day.  (Also – she has instructions for a relatively simple-looking apple bunny!)

Cooking Cute – Although this blog seems not to update frequently (like I can talk), it has a huge amount of resources and information on it.

Kitchen Cow – Full of pictures!  With BEEF STROGANOFF in a bento box!  (There is even a recipe for the stroganoff!)  However, all that really needs to be said for this site is this “zombie rising from the grave bento for the win!



No really. It is totally written in response to part of one of our conversations, just to be obnoxious.


donkeys 01
by ~greenleaf-stock on deviantART

We will watch the sky like burros who walk in the rain
taking leisurely steps and not seeking cover
we will turn our heads up to catch rain on our tongues
and remark upon how this must be the best time to be alive

We will watch the sky like burros who slosh through the mud
laughing at the squelching mud sounds as the earth tries to devour our hooves
we will turn our heads up to watch humming thrumming dragonflies
and remark upon how this must be the best time to be alive

We will watch the sky like burros who trek through the sun
scuffing up clouds of dust with our determined hooves
we will turn our heads up to find shapes in the drifting clouds
and remark upon how this must be the best time to be alive

We will watch the sky like burros who drowse beneath the moon
making wishes with huffing breaths on dandelions
we will turn our heads up to search for shooting stars
and remark upon how this must be the best time to be alive



{October 28, 2008}   ~untitled~

when dusk steals out over the city
creeping whisper-soft like the brush of unseen whiskers
painting the drowsy canals with darkness
I will come out with the lovers and the beggars and the cats
to stalk through the streets

murmurs and blushes
ancient eyes and the frayed hems of old coats
silken fur and endless mystery
will seep through my skin like ink

I will not watch what they are writing
but trace my way through the sinking buildings and swaying boats
with all the indifference of the moonlight on the water

in this twilight city
there will be hours to search out messages written and waiting
lurking in the half-heard conversations
the invitations into the unknown that are but a twitch of a tail
a shadow half-glimpsed
forever remembered



Sun-Painted Compass

Sun-Painted Compass

brushed across the canvas of my skin
shuddering with my heart
is our story
traced out in lines of fate and destiny
trailing over my palm
left like a map to distant places
going and coming and dividing and returning
until the whole story could not be written on one canvas
but in our skins overlaid
and then deeper
falling in tangled twists of color and light and darkness
writhing off of our skin and into the night sky
connecting stars and planets into new ever-shifting constellations
a love painted in presense and absence
light and shadow
with our blood and the colors of the bleeding sun
so woven into our fortunes
what has been spilling into what is come
I trace the curves of Nazca Lines and spiral-carved labyrinths
and wonder if you are speaking to me
promising that our dance nearer and father – forward and back
traces out something only visible from heights we have not yet reached

I mailed your letter this morning.

Chaco Canyon

Monkey!



{March 27, 2008}   September 04, 2004: Old Poem

you do not know who you are

for all I see you so clearly

reflected in truths that glow like moonlight

and I will wait for you

as people once waited for me

you are so painfully young

caught in that horrible liquid moment

when it seems you must accept gravity or grow wings

and I know of no way to tell you

you’ve wings already and all along

as you tell me the weight of your new world is crushing you

and that you love me

I trail my fingers through feathers you cannot feel yet

and wonder when you will understand



{February 3, 2008}   Sunday Morning Coffee and Secrets

When I am 40, I want to be here.

Right now I am 27, and terrified I will not have children before I am 30.

I have no real home at moment (do not misinterpret, I am living in a house!) and I am slowly coming to terms with the knowledge that I will not stumble upon a place to belong and will instead have to build one.



{February 2, 2008}   Fox!!! Where did you go???

Everywhere.

Nowhere.

I went on a vacation that was bliss and anguish, I came home with no idea what my future was to find out within the week that my grandmother was dying, my grandmother died, and I still have no idea where my life is going.

Some people do rollercoasters. I don’t always understand those people. I’ve tried, but willingly subjecting myself to falling when I already feel that way so often seems crazy. There are people who find this fun.

Anyway, I’m obsessing over memory, reading old cookbooks, downloading The L Word (specifically Season Two, Episode 1), and trying to figure out what home will be. I’ve been reading Urban Tribes by Ethan Watters. I’ve been trying to figure out what to make of my life. I’m impatient and terrified and absolutely exhilarated because even if my life is chaos I’m in love!

I’ve been having a long-running internal monologue and I haven’t been sure if I should open it up to people, or how to open it up to people, or well…anything. And then I read this post by Molly and before I lose my nerve I’m going to post this. I am going to try to open this up-but offering anything of myself up honestly and openly is hard for me. Especially when I’m not holding a direct conversation. Even more so when I’m not yet sure what I think, and don’t know how to fight to defend it.

All of the things I’m thinking would make for a huge post. Sooooooo…I’m gonna try to take this one in stages. Tomorrow is Sunday-I’ll try to reestablish Postsecret and coffee.

And talk.

I must re-learn how to let people under my skin.

I think it’s time.

P.S. – For the people who leave me hugs on the sidebar-THANK YOU! As strange as it may make me, that always makes me smile.



{January 2, 2008}   And…this is why….

….I love PostSecret!



{January 2, 2008}   Happy New Year!

So…this is the first I’ve been back to a computer since the champagne and New Year’s kisses!  New Year’s this year was excellent – low drama, lots of fun, many drinks, and much love.

The East Coast most definitely feels like home.  I want to drive to New York, but I know there’s no time for that.  Still…coming here is like coming home.

When I return to the Land of Loud Birds I will write you more.



et cetera