chasing shadows again











{April 30, 2007}   good morning cosmos!

I am alive again!  Which is fun.  🙂

No long entry today – I’m off to make breakfast and coffee and do some yard stuffs in preparation for orchids and hibiscus.  I want fruit too – fruit I can walk out into the rain damp grass and taste live off the tree for breakfast.  However, for now, less delicious morning walk and more playing in the dirt.

Of course, the dirt smells alive too, and that is awesome.  Me and the dirt are alive together, and soon it will cradle the plants that give me breakfast.  Life is good.

Everyone have a good morning/afternoon/evening/whatever/whenever you read this!  Ciao!

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And I’m drinking bottled water and not coffee. Yes, very sad. No, not usual. But as I’m doing everything in molasses time the last few days (I think I may be coming down with something, though I could just be stressed out a bit) I’m doing it now for fear I’ll have forgotten the English language tomorrow or something.

This week I would like to share this postcard from Postsecret for the memories of lots of books. I’ll only babble about one.

I have an old Bible that I am inexplicably fond of, especially considering how I felt about Christianity at the time it came into my possession, with a few notes and a newspaper clipping in it. I once went through page by page to find every marking, every note. The leather cover is worn to suede in the creases around the edges, and I know someone loved this Bible. It’s the Sunday School Teachers’ Edition (it has the cliff notes in the back!) and so I have skimmed my fingers over the pages wondering if it once belonged to a priest.

When I found it, spine twisted, too beaten up already to be treated as it was being treated, I bought it. $15 for a dignified end to a book someone worshiped from was okay by me. I spent the next few weeks searching for what you do with old Bibles (interestingly very few people I have met in the past nine years understand why I would do this, they look at me like I’m out of my mind and suggest old Bibles naturally belong in trash cans) but with no luck. Maybe it’s because my grandmother kept every family Bible of ours she ever had – she has a bookcase full of them, and would take them down and show me my family tree written in ancient ink, updated as people were born, married, and died. Maybe it was the memory of her Bible, with pressed flowers she can identify with events – funerals, dances, weddings. I may not share her faith, but her love for Bibles seems to have found a home in my heart with her love for people, her love for poetry, her love of learning, her love of everyone around her.

I never did find out if there was a proper way to destroy Bibles that were falling apart. It seems odd that we would have disposal rites for flags but not for holy books, but I suppose it’s possible. In any event, years in my possession have acclimated me to it. It travels with me. It lived just below my altar with candles and incense when I had an altar, now it has its own place in the antique wardrobe that smells of time and destiny. I’ve some strange bond with it. Several moves, a fire, and nine years (going on ten this October!) and I think we’re stuck with each other the rest of its life, or the rest of mine.

Anyway – enough of that. I will hopefully catch up to responding to posts and writing things soon. This blank staring at the screen thing I do lately is not cute. Perhaps tomorrow I will curl up in bed with the laptop and try to get some writing done and some rest.

You people have a lovely day. Ciao.



Since 1948 Wile E. Coyote has been chasing a bird.  I never understood why that poor, fixated coyote would do this.  Not until today at least, when the B-Movie Ray Gun Bird (henceforth BMRGB, first of the unpronounceable acronyms I will undoubtedly make up here) perched somewhere just outside my window and sang a passionate tale of epic battle.  And while a thunderous roar of applause might be in order, the thought of a thunderous cascade of rock and the roar of dynamite just might have seemed the better choice.

And with that, I bid you all good morning!  Have a wonderful day!



What horrors lurk in the tropical night? ~cue eerie horror music-camera should pan slowly over an overgrown and slightly sagging orchid house~ Aside from the vampires mosquitoes, grasses and ferns loom menacingly over the soil in the orchid house! Snails creep slowly up on innocent seedlings! Or they did. I have weeded out the whole floor this morning, in preparation to plant some orchids. The orchid show should be coming soon, and we’ll have a whole little house full of orchids.

Not sure what other errands are for today, I know there’s laundry and I should update the website that will (in theory) make me money – but between that I will continue to work on a couple of posts and a few poems I’ve been toying with, and you should have more things to read soon! Likely five at once again, because I’m just in and out like that on anything creative or full of words.

Have a lovely day, people!



Sunset In Bold - April 23rd 2007

Sunset here comes in bold. I have always been in awe of the sky, fully so much as I am of the sea. Staring out at the sunsets in the desert I was sure I was looking into the face of divinity – the colors and the light and the breathtaking splendor could be nothing but divine. This was taken tonight (in the rainforest, where the cloud colors and textures are different, sadly I no longer live in the desert).

 

But living in the jungle has a few advantages. This one, for example:

Pink Princess

 

 



Of all the remarkable things to happen, Inphinity chose the same postcard to share as her favorite from Postsecret. I’ve always gone there to reconnect to humanity – even on the days I was panicked about my hair, or my weight, or was convinced no one could ever love me again, I could read through secrets from strangers, I could laugh or cry or scream and know that at least one other person felt what I did. This week, I know there are three of us – if for only this one thing, for this one moment. And we are not alone.

I’m out searching for blogs to read, so I’ve read only a few of her posts so far, but I much enjoy them. There is something mysterious and whimsical about her, and I greatly look forward to reading more. Also…she has excellent taste. 🙂



pressed against the skeleton of a cursed and wayward ship
you wonder if you might have drifted through the slowly decaying galleon’s ribs
if only that dolphin had left you be
the transition from quickly to late to too long to timeless nothing to you
you know that you could get there faster
atop a starfish or cradled in the arms of a sea anemone
you remember with longing the hands that wrote the message you carry
more patient and with more trust in the sea
able to seal your cork back in with wax and release her dreams
with a kiss and a whispered prayer
her hands stilled in a graveyard now and
her mouth that pressed to yours for more wine silent
you know better yet you still think of yourself as her lover
you know you have a duty to cross the sea
to offer up her last words in hope
though you are shattered at last someone will place a rose on her grave

I had intended that to be more playful, but c’est la vie. Perhaps I will write another one! This one is done speaking for now.



This post is for my Ravyn (who has put up with many links to various *ahem* indecent chocolates and has been promised, or perhaps threatened, with the delivery of them to his door by mail). But other people as well may enjoy this little trek through the Internet in search of chocolate things from the tantalising to the absolutely tasteless, with frequent side trips (sometimes to skateboards!).

I’ll begin with Nirvana Chocolates – where you can fill a custom box of chocolates (16 or 32 pieces) with your selections, or choose one of the ready made packages. Check their Zen Collection for their candied orange peel covered in dark chocolate – which strikes me as the perfect gift for someone, I’m just not sure who. I have yet to order from here – but I certainly plan to.

For something a touch closer to my definition of bliss Shari’s Berries ships chocolate covered strawberries (which I am very much in love with). Most fascinating to me are the Old World Map Treasure Chest and their Tuxedo Berries. Looking for sweet but sugarfree? – they even have sugarfree chocolate dipped strawberries. Look around for all kinds of gift possibilities – coffee, fuzzies, silver…this site offers a pretty good range of stuff to chose from if for some reason the chocolate covered strawberries are not enough.

Chocolate tours? You’re not dreaming! Try tours in Belgium, London, New York, Chicago, Boston. For a listing of other tours visit cocoajava’s tours and destinations list. Chocolate tours seem far more common than I ever imagined (as I didn’t realise they existed!).

Chocolate Skateboardsno chocolate, but skateboards! (What? Were you not aware that I had the attention span of a fruit-fly? I couldn’t help it!)

Specializing in chocolate mice and penguins! I don’t think I need say more. Visit Burdick Chocolate to see these adorable creations! They sell many other chocolate things, including chocolate dipped fruit, but the mice and penguins are a must see.

Send Virtual Chocolate! (WARNING: Some may view this as teasing!) In addition to sending virtual chocolate you can see chocolate quotes, a chocolate poem, links to real chocolate, books on chocolate, and chocolate computer wallpaper. Fun to poke around.

Educational chocolate? The Field Museum in Chicago has put together a chocolate exhibition. It’s wandering about the country, teaching everyone about chocolate! Check when it (hopefully) comes to a city near you! I’m tempted on the 2009 Seattle one. But then I’m always looking for excuses to visit anywhere.

Want to see the reason I’m wondering if one really can cover zucchini with chocolate if it’s cooked with sweet spices? Check out Chocolate & Zucchini for recipes. This one for Gelée de Chocolat, Ananas et Violette (which was placed conveniently on their main page but may become displaced with time) is begging me to try it.

More Chocolate Lover’s Links @ The Merry Chocoholic

Wonka Chocolate Factory!  Possibly-probably fun.  Except I must flee in terror as oomp-loompas could come for me here at any moment now, if they realise a way in is also a way out!



I am awake unbearably early this morning. The birds are softer, my younger brother’s alarm clock is going off in the room next door, and if I poke my head up a little I can see the end of the sunrise painting the sky gold. As more birds wake up, the world grows louder, though the alarm at least is turned off.

I have very little to say pre-caffeine. Organic gummy bears, anyone?

I will be posting themed links today! The one I’ve been toying with awhile (chocolate) is almost done. If you have a topic for a random jaunt through the internet, let me know. If it’s interesting enough I’m willing to enter it in Google and click around a little, I’ll do so and toss up something here.



…and is my second cup of coffee. It is still morning here, barely. I went into town with my brother to get my second breakfast (of which I’ve barely eaten any) and coffee. So the coffee is tolerable, but not my happy French roast that I brew with cinnamon and nutmeg. However, the company was good, and the chats about driving up to New York (I love my gray concrete city lit with lights and robed in graffiti and dreams, and I miss knowing she is only a four hour drive and numerous tolls booths away).

Postsecret is (as always) a very welcome reconnection to the world. (One of these days I’ll do more here!) Today this one touches me. The thought of that couple will remind me of all the pennies I’ve seen and left on the street – if I had picked them up for luck, would they still be together? I will never know, but from now on when I walk past a penny on the ground, it only be with whimsical curiosity (I wonder what the person who does pick it up will need the luck for, or what they’ll wish for tossing it into a fountain) but an act of love. Or at least something done for the thought of it.

Gonna try to get in some new links, finish one of the three things I’m working on, and possibly make a links post if I can figure out what topic to play with, or just do more link chaos. We shall see.

However, before I give up on the topic of coffee and (re)connections, Molli at In This Silence has opened up a little place for chaos and community to take root. Check out her Cafe Conversation for a peek at the tiny Loki seedling.

Yes – I just am fascinated that I can turn text to links!



et cetera