chasing shadows again











{July 29, 2008}   Lucien!!!

Remember this monster before he was a monster?

Lucien!!!

Lucien!!!

And…close up of a tiny sprouting branch!!!

Baby Branches!!!

Baby Branches!!!

Molli – your plant!!!  He becomes HUGE!!!

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Like Turtledoves

Our starfruit tree has fruits! Billions of them!

More Starfruits in the Tree

Also our starfruit tree has an orchid!

The Mystery Orchid

 Perhaps later I will make a post with more words.



{October 26, 2007}   Lucien

Lucien October 2007

Lucien is realizing his destiny is to be a bush! This is his temporary home, where he has two pineapple friends!

Lucien’s Unnamed Pineapple Friend

This is Lucien’s as yet unnamed pineapple friend. Feel free to leave suggested names in the comments. 🙂

Lucien’s Pineapple Friend Camille

This is Lucien’s pineapple friend Camille.

The Vacation Home

Here is the big picture of the temporary place. Lucien will be moved to a place higher up on the incline, nearer the pool fence. First, though, there will be a rock wall to protect him from dogs and the weed-whacker.



{October 24, 2007}   Good Morning Cosmos!

 

Tulip Tree

Good morning!  There are ten minutes left of it.

Look!  A picture!  I took this one with the new camera.  While standing on two separate plant boxes and almost broke my neck approximately 38.6 times.  But I thought that we were long overdue some pictures.  [Lucien pictures are coming Molli, I just need to get a post with him and his pineapple friends arranged!]

I spent the morning reading through Tina’s blog.

Last night,when I almost updated and then didn’t, I was contemplating putting out an open account of what was going on with me, and shrank back.  For several reasons, one of which is that I have tried to keep from whining on this blog.  I’ve posted poetry and links to meaningful things that are not always cheerful, but I have tried to keep the overall theme here playful.  And the second is that as much as I think I’m reaching a place where I have to express where I am, I am reluctant to do that.  So…I’m debating putting things here, or putting things on another blog, or not talking about it at all for the Internet to view, or whatever it is I will do.

Anyway – Tina’s blog is an amazingly open and primal kind of view of depression and anorexia.  It is not just ranting, but is full of little bits of helpful information on how one person lives with depression and anorexia, some of which are probably helpful to see.  Most importantly, at least to me, its a kind of affirmation that I am not the only person who has been or still goes through these things.  Sometimes, that kind of affirmation is much appreciated.  As it was at eight this morning, when the thought I would have to make a grocery list was entirely overwhelming.  [It’s 12:05 now, and I’m still working on it.  But, partly that is due to the fact that I am searching for recipes, which I will of course share.]

One such recipe, which looks absolutely amazing is this recipe for Panang Curry Beef!  It comes complete with family story.  There is also a vegetarian take on that recipe, that also talks story, this time a dinner party one.  Also on the list for this week is this impossibly easy baked macaroni and cheese.   I shall add Anglo-Indian Curried Soup and do a pot roast.  Yes, half the reason this post exists is to hold my recipes for this week where I can find them.  I have yet to lose WordPress.

Enough ramblings for now.  I shall finish grocery lists and compress pictures of the garden for you.

Have a wonderful day peoples!



{July 27, 2007}   good morning cosmos!

Look! Lucien!

Lucien

I’m still learning to paint colors into words.  Spinning stories from bits of colored light is harder now.  Also, my camera has decided to die, so I’ve fewer pictures for you, all taken on the last occasion I coaxed it into functioning. But I did want to give you a Lucien picture.

 



I have been quiet lately.  Life has been insane.  One way or another, it will work itself out.

It is 8:10am here, and I have already gotten my coffee and gone for a walk in the early morning rain.  I actually arrived back in my house from my walk to find my alarm had started going off in my absence.   (An alarm set for five of seven, for those who are curious.)

Lucien has been growing like crazy, all green leaves and fluff.  The plantlings that survived the drought are all green and trying to grow as fast as they can to reach the sky.  They are very excited to be alive.  And very cute.

Also very cute is emo-puppy!

This is emo-puppy himself!

Our darling mutt dog Patch managed to out-queen himself!  Patch, who tends to lie with his front paws daintily crossed and likes nothing better than to groom the other dogs, is always a little adventure.  I came out a few days ago to see Patch lying on the porch, being even more emo than usual, watching my every move with his eyes but too oppressed by angst to lift his head off the porch.  I asked my mother if he’d been fed, and she said he head been too good for his food, and so our other dog had eaten it.  I got him food, which he stuck his face in, jerked it out, and then look up at me with the best look of absolute betrayal ever.  Then, eventually, he picks up one piece of food in his mouth, rolls his eyes to look up at me, and then spits the food back out into his dish!  This (from the dog who eats almost everything!) is extra-special drama.

And, another picture of emo-puppy, for your amusement!

Who would give this dog to the pound?



{June 7, 2007}   good morning cosmos!

Good morning!

I am conscious and not dying this morning, so you get a morning post! Updates are everywhere this morning!

Garden: It has been very dry here lately and most of the cuttings and half the lilikoi sunbaked (even with regular watering). Lucien has lost his big leaves, but his branches have very healthy looking tiny leaves, which seems like it’s fine. (I’ll get a picture soon!) It (finally!) rained last night and the plants are looking a bit better for it. I’ll be happy when we grass again. (Currently the grass is all red-brown and seared to sharp crumbly pokies!) I will give better updates on the garden once it’s wet again and I can do something that’s not damage control.

Zombies, Ghosts, and Vampire Kitties! Oh, my!



if I had it
I would give you the world and all of the stars
nowhere else makes me feel beautiful
the careless smiles I get here
are not the same
as the triumphant leer of the men who buy me drinks
then try to take me to their beds
which I will leave in the morning with nothing more than what I came with
hollow and sad
as the walls which do not cradle homes
only furniture
walking through this market
feels like coming home
as if the colors and the gravel and the sky can cradle
what the shells of apartments and houses cannot
I can feel the leaves of orchids and rows of Thai silk
reach out to touch the bananas and the old books
who throw spiderwebs of their souls out to
jewelry and crepes and honey and soap
offering to hold the world
offering to hold me
though I know that the closest I will come to that promise
is the brush of fingers
as I pay for orchids and honey
the artwork and the silk and the jewels
that I wrap around me like a quilt to keep out the dark

Walking through the open air market always feels like coming home. This time before the market, we stopped at Sirius Coffee where the same man as last time made my coffee, and I swear that somehow he puts love in it. Or maybe that’s the extra chocolate. This time when I asked for a small mocha after contemplating, he negated that decision with a “how can more chocolate and more whipped cream be wrong?” He wins. I love that place. It has an internet cafe kinda thing, and one day I may go there to write to you, where I can have many mochas. If anyone reading this makes it to Pahoa and does not go in for coffee (and to read the many, many bits of paper and stickers on the counter) you are missing something you should have had. If you never make it to Pahoa, you are doing the same, but more understandably so. I understand that not everyone will fly to the islands, though much like Fuji, it is something I cannot imagine living without. There are some things, some places, that add a kind of richness to the world. I have cherished all of them I have found, though I have found few of them.

Today there were people to say hello to, people who are starting to know me. I was not going to buy honey, but my honey seller (there are two and I only buy from one – he charmed me and I think he may charm bees) had honey sticks! I still had honey for both the altar and the kitchen (and for my Ravyn, I so have to mail you your honey! Remind me!), but honey sticks! I could not say no. Anyway, he always makes me smile. And last time I was there I tasted both his new kinds of honey but didn’t buy any. 😦 I need to make money so I can buy his honey and ship it all over the earth. People who tell me what flowers the bees were eating and show me the different tastes that makes and talk to me like I’m a person should get my money. I just have to have it first.

Again, the man who sells the used books out of his truck was there, and though I have books I still looked and brought home a book on Islamic art. There are other book sellers, but this one has the unusual things, and he talks to people. He does not talk as much to me, but many people he recommends books to. I suppose he has to learn what I like first. That is where I bought Snow Falling on Cedars which I loved for its peaceful kinda sleepy longing and truth. More people should be able to use darkness to show us light. I highly recommend that book to anyone.

I brought home an orchid, who I believe is named Ishmael. He is in my room now and I smile to look at him. Delilah, the night blooming jasmine I have planted in a pot to live with me (Lucien’s sister cutting!) is here too, on the corner of my desk. So is the lumpy lemon tree I planted from a seed, who needs a name. So anyone who knows what a lemon tree might be named should tell me here. Ishmael and the lemon (who I think is also a boy) are sharing a wire basket because Ishmael is too heavy on one side and topples over.

We have a coffee plant too now, and it seems to me that the coffee, the vanilla, and the cocoa plants should all live together. But then, I’m weird. We have a few more cocoa bean I should start. I want to make a shade thing for the cuttings with some mesh, so they will not fry. I need to sort through my books and decide which will be boxed (until I have shelves, at least). And I need a table. I kinda want to make one. Then I can build in boxes to hold pens and plants!

I have to finish my resume and stuff (and do secrets!) and organize and…I’m just full of things to do. But I will leave you with quotes from the two beautiful cards I got at the market today.

“We often confuse spiritual knowledge with spiritual attainment. Spirituality is not a matter of knowing scriptures and engaging in philosophical discussions. It is a matter of heart culture, of immeasurable strength. Fearlessness is the first requisite of spirituality. Cowards can never be moral.” ~ Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

“What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. And justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Aloha.



{May 21, 2007}   Garden Update!

Today I got to violate the will of God! use chemicals to cause roots to grow instead of leaves on plant cuttings!  Hopefully new plants will be born.  I like new plants.

Because I have some self restraint, rather than make one L-O-N-G post full of pictures you can view pictures of the cuttings here or view pictures of the vanilla root intervention here.



{May 14, 2007}   Garden Update!

Plant Update
3/4 night blooming jasmine cuttings seem to be doing well (one died)
2 1/3 gardenia cuttings seem to be doing well (one two appear to be dying)
2/2 hibiscus cuttings seem to be doing well
1 pineapple top (replanted 4 times due to the puppy digging it up to parade it around the yard) seems to be doing well
1 seriously trimmed pepper plant seems to be doing well
4 cocoa plants, the lavender, and the peppers have yet to sprout
the peppers appear to be sprouting!
1 vanilla vine looks good (but no roots yet! where are the roots?)
many transplanted impatiens look good

Done Today
-transplanted impatiens to the lemongrass box, by the lava rock, and transplanted one into a dead banana tree hollow
-trimmed up the plants around the water tank and threw trimmings into a big pile over the fence
-weeded herb box
-watered in orchid house
-did not bonk puppy with a shovel once (it’s so tempting)
-did let the puppy play with the hose (which she loves like junkies love their fix)

To Do
-complete transplanting impatiens (more to banana grove?)
-clean hillside ring around the pool
-seed hillside ring around the pool with flowers
-clear out empty flower boxes of weeds
-feed banana grove and lemongrass box
-if no rain water plants tomorrow
-trim basil
-trim impatiens
-take more pictures

I want to grow strawberries for muffins!



et cetera