chasing shadows again

{April 23, 2007}   this will have to be for Molli – because it’s her fault I’m thinking of letters in bottles trapped beneath the sea

pressed against the skeleton of a cursed and wayward ship
you wonder if you might have drifted through the slowly decaying galleon’s ribs
if only that dolphin had left you be
the transition from quickly to late to too long to timeless nothing to you
you know that you could get there faster
atop a starfish or cradled in the arms of a sea anemone
you remember with longing the hands that wrote the message you carry
more patient and with more trust in the sea
able to seal your cork back in with wax and release her dreams
with a kiss and a whispered prayer
her hands stilled in a graveyard now and
her mouth that pressed to yours for more wine silent
you know better yet you still think of yourself as her lover
you know you have a duty to cross the sea
to offer up her last words in hope
though you are shattered at last someone will place a rose on her grave

I had intended that to be more playful, but c’est la vie. Perhaps I will write another one! This one is done speaking for now.


Molli says:

I’m fairly sure my key focus within this poem is not where you intended it to be, but that line “if only that dolphin had left you be” took my mind off into reminisces of someone who, to me, embodies all of the delight and child-like wonder of dolphins. That being the case, this poem did feel playful to me because, alongside your words, was this thought – with a smile – of flying across the ocean on the back of a dolphin.

All of that aside (I do have something of a one track mind, I’m afraid), all of the imagery in this was so wonderfully apt and used so skillfully. As you can tell, from the aforementioned, I can get distracted kind of easily (sorry 😦 ) so I’ve never had much of a gift when it comes to making the most of an analogy. I go off on tangents, lose track of where I was going, fail to get to the point…. and/or miss it altogether.

This is a fully realised poem. Well done! Now I’m going to be thinking of bottles carrying the messages of long gone people and worrying that their messages will never be read! Maybe I should go down to the beeach now and see if there’s anything there that needs rescuing!

fox says:

Thank you!

Actually, while the rest of the poem went of elsewhere that dolphin line was what I wanted the tone to be – so I am quite pleased!

I’m glad you liked it. It’s the kind of thing I do a lot but share rarely – quick little sketch poems like this one that are a response to something someone said, generally only get shown to the person who said them. So as long as you liked the poem for you, I think it’s a success!

Now that I am successful at 10:30am, I shall endeavor to do something even more amazing – which may prove possible and will likely involve fudge. 🙂 Ciao.

[…] shadows again {July 09, 2007}   message in a bottle After having written a poem about a message in a bottle for Molli, I have found another post on WordPress about messages in bottles.  Sand in Circles is […]

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